Monday Evening Quarterback

As America settles in for another rousing edition of Monday Night Football, let's take a look at what we learned yesterday across the NFL.

1) The Patriots cannot play in Miami in December.

Okay, well, we already knew that, given that in the entire 41-year history of the franchise, the Boys in Blue are now 2-12 in that situation. Some of the worst, stomach-punch, gut-wrenching losses in Pats history have come at the hands of the Fish, and yesterday was no different. Tom Brady looked human as Jason Taylor (who, by the way, in my admittedly limited NFL viewing this season, has gone to the next level and is rivaling Urlacher for Defensive Player of the Year) and company humbled the two-time Super Bowl MVP. I'm not as concerned as many commentators have been about the three turnovers. Yesterday was a punting situation for the Pats. They barely suited up. Luckily, they have the week off next Sunday (at home to the Texans, who are suppsedly still an NFL franchise...more on them in a moment), so they rest a bit, heal up and secure their rightful place in the playoffs.

2) The Saints and Chargers are actually that good.

If Tom Brady looked human, Drew Brees and LaDainian Tomlinson looked superhuman. Brees, with a big up to prospective Coach of the Year Sean Payton, used all his weapons effectively and the Saints marched to victory easily over Dallas who, suddenly, look eminently beatable. For all of the stories about how great the Saints are for New Orleans (and believe me, every one of those stories deserves to be written), this is more than a Cinderella story. This team can compete, and they will be in the mix in the NFC. But what more can be said about Tomlinson, except that I think we all hope he is indicative of the next wave of NFL superstars. In an age dominated by distractions like T.O., Tomlinson is the consummate professional and the one guy around whom you want to start building your tam and your locker room. Chris Berman made the point on SportsCenter this evening, when Tomlinson shattered Shaun Alexander's barely-minted touchdown record, he spoke about how "we" would be telling "our" kids about this feat. That's not the royal we, man. Tomlinson immediately credited his offensive line and his quarterback and his coaching staff for a decidedly singular achievement. I'm honestly surprised he didn't thank the waterboy for keeping him hydrated so effectively. In any case, Tomlinson's performance over the last 9 weeks (26 touchdowns...you read that correctly) is an astonishing moment for pro football and sports in general, and should be commended by every dan with a voice and sportswriter with a pen.

3) Houston, we have a problem.

Vince Young, Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart are all going to be outstanding professionals. And the Houston Texans passed on all of them. This joke of a franchise went with a defensive end from NC State (a bad team in a lacklustre conference) because they thought they were building for the future with David Carr and Dominick Davis. Newsflash, Houston: Any of those three would have been, not just an upgrade, but the answer to all of your problems. Making matters worse, Vince Young, the local lad the Texans snubbed in order to bulk up their defense, ran right through that defense in overtime, 38 yards to paydirt to sink the Texans. Talk about a dagger.

Now, for what we should learn tonight.

1) Rex Grossman will bounce back.

I mean, he has to. You don't post a 1.3 Passer Rating and then get worse the following week. That can't happen.
...Right?

2) The Rams will make a valiant a ttempt to prove their detractors wrong.

But they are team going in exactly the wrong direction with bad coaching and a worse quarterback, so they will fail. But, at least they will try.

3) Theismann will continue to step on Kornheiser's brilliant insights.

I'm pretty sure the only person who misses Paul McGuire in the commentary box in all of America is Joe Theismann.

Enjoy the game.