Meh...: A Super Bowl Post

It took the NFL almost twenty years, but they have accomplished the unthinkable. They have made me not care at all about watching the Super Bowl. There are no interesting subplots. There is no interesting pretext. The teams are not that fun to watch. And Prince is the halftime show. Still, in the paraphrased words of Lewis Black, I'm a man and I have no religion, and it's on a Sunday, so I'm trying.

Indianapolis vs Chicago

Super Bowl XLI. The Big Game. Additional, generic football-related catchphrase. I just don't care. I don't care about Peyton Manning. I don't care about Tank Johnson. And I certainly don't care about Rex Grossman. I don't care about Thomas Jones, or Joseph Addai or even Marvin Harrison. I just don't care and you can't make me. I want this game to be good, I really do, but it won't be. It'll be an archetypal blase Super Bowl. The first quarter will start with both teams coming out flat, then ramping it up in the second quarter as we roll towards halftime and my second set of wings. One team will have clearly outplayed the other in the first half (for my money, this will be Indianapolis) but hold only a slim lead going into the locker rooms. Both teams will be stiff after the longer layoff going into the third quarter and the trailing team (thus, the Bears) will start to mount a comeback and tie the game going into the fourth quarter. Then the team which led in the first half will make a few costly errors early in the quarter allowing the supposedly beaten team to come back, score a touchdown or two and win going away with five minutes to go, leaving me in a beer and wing fed stupor and wishing I hadn't even watched.

As for actually breaking the game down, I believe the Bears will win for three distinct reasons.

1) Somehow, less pressure

2) Better defense

3) And I will stick to this until I am absolutely proven wrong, PEYTON MANNING IN A BIG GAME!!!!!

The Super Bowl is not Peyton's Place. He may not be Dan Fouts anymore, but, by God, he will be Dan Marino. He must never win the Super Bowl. I will be vindicated.

PREDICTION: Bears 24, Colts 15 (Yup, FIVE Vinatieri Field Goals.)