Stoking the Fires

I feel like I never write about the Red Sox. I mean, to be fair, there's not much to write about when you're 11 games ahead in the AL East, with the hated Yankees fading quickly into the morass of sub-par franchises yet again. And trust me, as I sit here in New York, that fact is not sitting well. Driving in yesterday with Megan for a week of dipsaluscious vacation and job interviewing, I caught the end of the Giants-Yankees matchup on 880. John Sterling and Suzyn (or however the hell you spell that worthless tramp's name) Waldman were practically apoplectic at the sight of this once proud franchise dropping five games out of six - including a sweep by the Colorado Rockies - in increasingly poor fashion. Sterling, who I truly believe is actually an elaborate macro rather than an actual human being, was shooting his mouth off about how bad this team was, and how much they needed pitching and all the rest of the things Yankee fans lean on when the team is down. How much they actually believe that it's everybody else's fault that they're losing.

It's disgusting.

But it does mean one very important thing, which is why I'm here to talk about the Red Sox. The Yankees are, as always, big buyers at the trade deadline, which is a scant 36 days away, according to the Buzz Blog over at Boston.com. This year presents a particularly interesting scenario because so many teams are so bad, but in the American League, the two teams to watch are the White Sox and Rangers. Both teams look to be sellers coming towards July 31. Now, traditionally, the Yankees make waves at the Deadline with one big-name signing and some smaller signings, usually pitchers, that always seem to pan out. Here's the problem. These are some names of seemingly available players.

Mark Buehrle.

Mark Teixiera.

Eric Gagne and/or Akinori Otsuka.

You add any or all of those guys to the mix over in the Bronx and all of a sudden that 11 1/2 games back third place team fading into indignity becomes a force to be reckoned with in August and September. And with this Red Sox having missed the injury boat thus far, it could be a late season hiccup that sends this team into a tailspin. But does that mean that the Red Sox should be buying at the Deadline?

Ironically, yes.

They have several important pieces that could make a difference for middling teams. They do have the prospects to ship out of town as well as veteran players. Here are some players whose names I think you'll see mentioned and why.

Mike Lowell: He's 32. He's got an expiring contract. He's having his best hitting year in a while. And as much as he has become an integral part of this Red Sox team, and as much as he is a stand up guy who I would personally hate to see leave the community, teams like Minnesota, and even the White Sox - who may still be able to make a late season run in an oversold Central - need a solid corner infielder who plays incredible defense. And we can move Kevin Youkilis back to his natural position if we were to go hard after Teixiera, which we would need to do.

Coco Crisp: We're going to talk about Jacoby Ellsbury in a second, he being the heir apparent to the vast expanse of Center Field at Fenway. Coco is not hitting. Yeah, he's starting to turn it around, which is good from a trade perspective. And he has a year left on his contract which means the team that got him would get the best year of his career next year (Contract year + Prime of Career + Something to Prove = SuperCoco!). The kicker is this: if Coco stays he will have to fight for his job next spring against Ellsbury who looks like a world-class baseball player at the AAA level. Why not ship him out of town? Move Drew back to Center and get Ellsbury (or Murphy/Moss if they want to coddle their burgeoning star) up to be the 4th outfielder behind Wily Mo in his audition to play DH somewhere else next year.

Craig Hansen: This guy is going to be either an All-Star setup man or one of the league's best closers. He just isn't going to do it in Boston. The Okajima/Papelbon combination looks like it has cemented itself in the 8th and 9th innings for the foreseeable future. Hansen is going to be highly prized, especially in Chicago for what he will bring to the table. I hate trading pitching, especially young pitching, but where Hansen does not fit, don't you have to use him to get that one extra piece that brings another world championship to Boston?

Clay Buchholz/Jacoby Ellsbury: These two are the futures of this franchise. They should be untouchable. In two years, Buchholz will be the best young starter in the league and Ellsbury will singlehandedly bring back the Go-Go Red Sox. Not even Buehrle and Teixiera would be worth losing either one of these guys.

And finally here are the trades I would like to see:

CHICAGO (AL) gets:
Coco Crisp
Craig Hansen
Abe Alvarez

BOSTON gets:
Mark Buehrle

or maybe...

TEXAS gets:
Mike Lowell/Coco Crisp
Craig Hansen
Abe Alvarez
David Murphy

BOSTON gets:
Mark Teixiera
Eric Gagne

or maybe...nothing at all.

Poached Lobster Is Not A Barbecue Food, There, I Said It.

Ah yes, Top Chef is bringing the heat from week to week. Last night was no exception, as the contestants took their culinary wares out of doors for an upscale barbecue event. And for the most part, the chefs-in-waiting brought their "A" games. I thought the judges' decision on making Brian the winner of last night's challenge was on point, his seafood sausage hit all the high points needed, and fulfilled the expectations of the judges, as it was both upscale and barbecue appropriate. Sara Nguyen impressed as well, if only by accident, with her Vietnamese Ribeye creation. She definitely got a lot of points for accessibility of food, which can be of particular desirability when standing and mingling under the hot sun.

There were definitely some losers last night. Sandee, of course, was chief among them. Just because you manage to poach lobster on a grill does not mean it's barbecue food. As the other 13 contestants prove, there are myriad ways of finding new and interesting barbecue creations and textures and flavors. She chickened out or lost the plot, and deserved to get canned. But Howie and Joey were almost bigger problems. Howie lost more points with the judges on execution, this time not realizing that if you cut pork and leave it out, it will get dry and inedible. This man is a chef for crying out loud! He's not a line cook, he runs a kitchen. That kind of mistake is absolutely a failure of Culinary Skills 101. Joey on the other hand - who by the way, is the worst kind of New Yorker (the one who believes the world ends West of the Hudson, and for Joey, perhaps we shrink that to outside of Brooklyn) - made chicken wings! And not even good chicken wings, just run of the mill things he would make for a block party in Prospect Heights. These two have to raise their games immediately - though I don't think Joey can hack it - if they want to survive much longer.

One more note on Tre. He was brought to judges' table for a very good reason. They don't want him turning into Cliff. They don't want him to be another guy with a lot of promise and competitive drive, who gets a little bit to arrogant after some early victories. Tre is going to be there at the end, unless his head gets the better of him. He just needed a little spanking from the judges to clarify that.

YouTube + Presidential Candidate = Funny? Amazingly, Yes.

Oh my god. Hillary Clinton brought the funny.



I am reminded of those heady days on the Dean campaign when we were trying to select our campaign song. We didn't do anything this witty. We just put a thread on the blog and asked people to post their favorites. My favorite response was to Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" to which a Deaniac said, "That girl gives me a sexual disease just by watching her on TV."

Yup, those were our supporters.

But this is not about me, or all of the cool stuff I've done. Let's get back to the Hillary video. I think it's a great send-up. Also, the Johnny Sac cameo was brilliant. I can only hope that her fellow candidates bring the funny as well as she did.

They should also present a policy program that can help America regain her role in the world, strengthen us at home, ensure our long-term prosperity, and such and such.

Dog Days

The dull drudgery of work-a-day academia is starting to get to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, it affords me all kinds of time to do things like this, prattling on about nothing in particular. It also affords me the opportunity to continue my ridiculous, neverending and fruitless job search. (By the way, if any of you are hiring, or know someone who is...) But it's making me feel like I'm in a routine, and not one I want to be in.

I have to break it.

I started today with a large bucket at the driving range. But my life is starting to seem like one endless commute. Now, everyone reading this post who is employed just started playing the world's smallest violin for me. But it's true. All I do is drive back and forth to Medford (I mean, come on, frickin' MEDFORD!) to a boring job at a University I pretty much detest.

And yet, it's summer in New England. The trees are green, the sun is hot (occasionally) and the Red Sox are winning. What more do I need?

That's the problem. I just don't know.

Top Chef is Back. So am I.

I haven't written in a month or so. Here's a quick update.

I went to the farm.

I went to New York.

I work everyday at Tufts.

I still do not have a rest of my life job.

Anyone who is still wondering why I haven't written anything recently, that's why. I'm just boring. However, Top Chef is never boring, and the new season kicked off last night with a bang. It is, as yet, hard to get a read on the competitors generally, because with fifteen of them going head to head last night in only an hour, only the best and the worst were memorable.

That said, I think it's obvious that the judges made the right decision last night. Sending Howie or Brian home over failures of executing on time were not warranted. They proved they can cook, maybe not win the show (although, if Howie pulls his act together, don't be surprised if he hangs around for a while), but at least be competitive.

What was plain and simple was that Clay was in WAY over his head. I mean, he was competing against the executive sous chef from Jean-F'ing-Georges! He fried a fish tail as the signature part of his meal. I'm surprised he didn't serve his ridiculously overdone and cold wild boar ribs with a side of grits from a box. Though, that may have added flavor and texture, which seemed to be missing from his dish. The bottom line is, that challenge was hard, but at least 10 other chefs rose to it. Clay, for reasons passing understanding, thought he could play it safe and move on. I mean, really, par-cooking wild boar? Really? Really.

Apart from Clay, everyone did very well with the challenge, though a few stood out as prohibitive favorites after week one.

Tre: Well, I mean, obviously. He won the challenge, both Ilan and Harold won the first challenge as well. He seems to have excellent chops - I was actually salivating when he plated that ostrich for the judges - and his competitive edge should help him ride the ups and downs of the competition. He probably won't rest on his laurels after his good first impression, and that should suit him well. If he continues to compete at this level, he will at least make the final, if not win.

Hung: He's Marcel's friend and colleague, so I am very cautious here. He also markets himself as a certified asshole, and nothing I saw last night would dissuade me of that notion. But the boy can cook. Unlike Marcel, he understands that incorporating molecular techniques into soulful cooking is where good avant garde food lies. Hung may set himself apart from the group both with his skills and attitude, and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see him survive for many a week.

Sara N.: The Jamaican-bred executive chef stood out for her tasty combinations in both the quickfire, which by the way, was really ridiculous, and probably threw a lot of people off, and at the judges' table. It remains to be seen just how far she can branch out from her Caribbean roots, but she seems quite well rounded. She may be a force to be reckoned with down the road.

Lia: Can you say ringer? She would probably have 3 Michelin Stars on principle if she ever opened her own restaurant. She is in a competition against people who are unsure of the concept of amuse-bouche. Watch out, even if she couldn't french her wild boar ribs correctly on the fly.

Micah: Of all the dishes prepared, her quickfire offering of "Sushi" Under the Tuscan Sun was the most appetizing. It was the perfect amuse-bouche: one bite, quirky, tasty. She probably didn't bring it as hard in the main challenge knowing she was safe. Amidst the Tres of the world here, she has to be careful about that. But if she can pull it together and be consistent, I believe her chops are just as good as anyone's and the fiery personality they allude to in the scenes from down the road may help her.